#thisonesforyou
As you can see at first glance, this episode clearly could qualify as an #HTFTS. It is not. This is a guest episode. Who is it written by? You. The #hashheads have this one. What is your topic? #Hashtagfairytales…or whatever the hell you want (#excusemyfrench). Friends, I want you to tell me what to do now? As I’ve always said, I write to entertain you, I want to know what you want, but moreso I want to know what’s on your mind.
So, in the comment section tell me: #whatnext? Should I go fiction? Theology? Sports Entertainment? YouTube? Should I just focus on the already existing Cut Down Podcast (posted every Friday [#shamelessplug] available on iTunes)? What should I do? The internet is your oyster! Or just type “Wuss up.” Tell me what you’re thinking. This is an opinion piece…only the opinion isn’t mine. Because to all my readers, #thisonesforyou!
(I want you entertained. What do you want to see? And what do you want to talk about?)
#assessyourself
I don’t normally do this, but in light of the Birthday of #Hashtagfairytales, I thought I could take this week as an opportunity to do something different. #Hashtagfairytales—like most other blogs—is about one thing: the self-aggrandization of the author. That is what this blog has been about. Me. An opportunity for me to showcase me and my thoughts; #hashheads will know, that this was never the goal, but that is nevertheless what it is.
There comes a time in everyone’s life where they must take a step back and look at who they are. You all must do it, you must #assessyourself. This is my time. I love to entertain and have been attempting to do so on this blog for one year. Am I saying that this is it? No, but it is definitely time for a re-assessment of #Hashtagfairytales, its purpose and its function.
No, frills, no thrills. Friends, it is time to take a look around and see what it is about #HTFT that is successful, and see what is simply not entertaining and then I must cut the fat. I don’t know what this means, but I cannot leave you out of the process. Over the next few weeks, I will be taking the time to reassess this blog. I don’t know what I will learn, but I’m kind of worried and excited.
This is about #Hashtagfairytales, because it shouldn’t be about me.
(I the spirit of it not being about me: Congratulations to the graduates of Patten University Class of 2012. #youdidit)
#happyfrigginburfday
366 days.
That is how much time has elapsed since the very first episode of #Hashtagfairytales.
Exactly 12 months.
It was this day one year ago that I asked myself the question: #youcallthatablog. May 9, 2011: the day #HTFT was born. You don’t have to believe me, it was on Wikipedia…of course that was before some jackwagon decided it wasn’t a “world event” and they decided to remove it (I guess you can’t just put anything on there).
Today is #Hashtagfairytales’ first birthday and there is no one I would like to share the first birthday with more than the #hashheads. Those who have been here through all of the ups and downs of #HTFT. As of this writing #Hashtagfairytales has had 4,623 views in it’s lifetime; my assumption is that at least 20 of those are me trying to figure out how this blog thing works, so lets say 4,600.
Now I am no #mathmagician (that’s what they are called right?) but 4,600 views over 366 days comes out to about 12.56 views per day. About 12 and a half people have graced this page every day for the entirety of its life. That doesn’t seem like a lot but let me give you a few statistics that were shared by blogging guru Jon Acuff:
According to statistics, there are 2.4 billion people online around the world.
There are an estimated 450 million blogs online.
If you divide the number of people online by the number of blogs online, each blog should have approximately 5.3 readers.
5.3? I have more than double that daily. It’s all about perspective.
Why did I create #Hashtagfairytales? Over the past year of writing and facilitating episodes I have learned the answer to that: I have a passion to entertain. It is this passion that drives me to want to be an announcer for the WWE (#keepcalmanddreamon); a goal that will be accomplished. At times I succed at entertaining and get 70+ views in a day, and other times I fail miserably (#beinghonest). But I love to entertain.
Do I want 100 views a day? Yeah, of course; what blogger doesn’t? But I am proud to tote my 12.5! #Hashtagfairytales may morph and change, but I am still me and I am still here to entertain. Ideas fail and episodes bomb, but #hashheads remain to the very end.
So to you #Hashtagfairytales, I say #happyfrigginburfday.
And to you Jacob C. Howard circa May 9, 2011 I answer your question: #youcallthatablog?
No, I call that #Hashtagfairytales.
(#Boomshakalaka)
#urbanhipster
Tupac performed at Coachella.
The episode could just end there couldn’t it? A hologram of Tupac—that was quite lifelike actually—performed at Coachella alongside Snoop Dogg. Who thought I would ever type that sentence? Some saw it and thought it was really cool, others thought it was really creepy.
When I saw the video, I was thinking (I have a tendency to do that every once in a while), “Psh, I remember listening to Pac when he was still alive.” Then it hit me—not a bullet or anything, just another thought: might I be a #hipster? Am I an #urbanhipster? Or what’s more an #blackhipster? You know one of those people who looks down on you for watching “The Cosby Show” because they watched “The Jeffersons” (#NickatNite). One of those of the African American persuasion who says they dislike watermelon because it is “too mainstream.” One of those people who says, “I was black #beforeblackwascool!”
Be-tee-dub, just so you #hashheads know, you don’t have to be black to be a #blackhipster. No my friends, there are black hipsters in all colors. So how do you know if you are a #blackhipster? Simple, you say things that #blackhipsters say. Today on #Hashtagfairytales, I give you the Top Ten things #blackhipsters say.
10. “I wore a bow tie when people still thought that I might try to sell them a bean pie.” (#nationofislam)
9. “When I sported a stocking cap, they were made from real stockings.” (#thanksmom; #datsgross)
8. “I wore Ray Bans back when Steve Urkel was still wearing them.”
7. “I voted for Clinton before ‘voting for the black guy’ was cool.”
6. “You wear a long white tee that says ‘RIP Lil’ Kiko’ to pay tribute to your lost homie; I wear argyle for the same reason (#RIP Mr. Rogers)”
5. “I sang along to Disney movies when Pocahontas was the closest thing to a black Disney princess.” (#Tianacankickrocks; #impartcherokee)
4. “Oh, I don’t need to watch ‘The Help,’ my grandmother pretty much lived it.”
3. “I was wearing Vans before they ‘looked like sneakers’ and riding skateboards before Lil’ Wayne.”
2. “I knew Dougie before he had a dance.”
1. “I watched Tyler Perry when he only produced plays.”
Audience Participation: What are some other #urbanhipster quotes?
(Question: Was this episode racist? Answer: No, I’m black; black people can’t be racist.)
(Commence fight)
#getonthefloor
Faith is not easy.
But you already knew that.
I just found out.
I haven’t had any recent struggles with faith, and I haven’t doubted God as of late, which is how I confirm my conclusion. My faith in God is strong right now—I might say as strong as it has ever been. You all saw last week’s episode of #Hashtagfairytales, #thatssilly; in that episode, I affirmed my belief and faith in resurrection, the most paramount and silly of all Christian beliefs. It is in my strength that I find my weakness.
Because my faith is at its best, I can truly see how inadequate it is.
Sure I’m good in the belief department. You throw Biblical statements and doctrine at me and I’ll believe them left and right; and I’ll tell you why I do! I say a revised version of the #ApostlesCreed daily; I know what I believe. Mind you, I do not boast in my great faith, but in my lack thereof.
The complimentary statements in Romans 8:11 fully describe my inadequacy:
“And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.”
Dang it! I mean this same Spirit is in me; Yup! I believe that fer sure. But also give life to my mortal body? As in make my life abundant? Like not just make me alive, but make me really live? Seriously? I mean, this fella is in the business of raising people from the dead and I am supposed to believe he is also worried about giving ME a quality life? I mean I believe the words; who doesn’t? But that God cares about what job I have and what friends I hang out with seems a bit below his pay grade. It’s like asking Bill Gates to sell Microsoft Office software at Best Buy, or telling Kim Kardashian to…umm…well, she doesn’t really do much anyway, but you get the point.
Sometimes I feel like praying to God about little things like romantic relationships is a bit petty. God has a busy schedule; I saw Bruce Almighty. There are sick babies and people who have never had clean drinking water. Sometimes when I pray I am not sure I am expecting an answer. Not because HE can’t but because I think He just doesn’t care. (#transparency)
Not too long ago, I paid a visit to a friend’s apartment. He lives on the 10th floor and given the abundance of my waistline, I typically take the elevator. As I stepped out of the elevator onto the tenth floor, I noticed something extremely dangerous.
I didn’t look down.
I just believed that the floor was there and that it would support me. Friends, I don’t feel comfortable sharing my weight, but let me say it is approximately 12 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models—or somewhere around there. I just believed that the floor would support me.
The floor doesn’t care. But God does.
The floor isn’t all powerful. But God is.
The floor doesn’t know any of my hearts desires. But God knows them all.
I wish I had as much faith in God as I have in the floor.
The philosopher commonly known by his gangsta rap name Mystikal once said, “Danger, get on the floor!” (#Y2K was a good year) I say the same thing; I need to get on God like I #getonthefloor. I mean to say, I need to just step out all undignified and just trust that He will support me. He will hold my weight. He will always be there. #getonthefloor and don’t look down! #hashheads the book of I Peter says it better than I ever could. Pete, take it away: “Cast your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
It’s just true. I am growing my friends; I am learning. I implore you all to take heed to this. The finals you are stressing over and are studying for are not only your concern, but the are at the heart of the creator. Very God of Very God cares about what college you pick. Your job; He cares. Your wedding venue; He cares. Your small city; He cares.Your house in foreclosure; He cares. Your bank account; He cares. Your broken relationship; He cares. You; He cares.
Question: What do you care about? He cares too.
(Did I quote Mystikal and the apostle Peter in the same paragraph? Only on #HTFT!)
